About

funny german garden gnome sculpture

This is us, every Friday night. — Image courtesy of IvanWalsh.com (http://www.flickr.com/photos/ivanwalsh/)

I am a graphic designer and copywriter from Portland, Oregon, now working as a freelancer in Hannover, Germany. I am married to a beautiful, smart and (unintentionally) hilarious German woman. She has two Master’s degrees and is currently working on her Ph.D., so she thinks she’s smarter than me. However, I continue to remind her I am emotionally intelligent, which is why I am able to gently explain the shortcomings of German television programming — like the amazingly awful crime show Tatort — without spending more than one night on the couch.

I started ‘Oh God, My Wife Is German.‘ back in August of 2011, but it REALLY started years before, when I began writing down the hilarious things my German wife was saying on a daily basis. I had a stockpile of quotes, denglish mistranslations and priceless idioms saved on my iPhone, just sitting there for us to laugh at during dinner. We started sharing them with our close friends and quickly realized these were not just inside jokes, but actually funny pieces of humor with widespread appeal. I asked her permission to begin a blog with her quotes as the focal point, and she said yes. To this very day, she remains the blog’s biggest fan.

It began with 1 or 2 followers, of course, but grew steadily over the months as people began to take notice. One of my posts about Americans marrying Germans was featured on WordPress.com as a “Freshly Pressed” article, and that gained a steady new stream of followers. After I moved to Germany, I began including posts about culture shock and life as an American expat, and then our Facebook followers grew through word of mouth. Before I knew it, we had over 5,000 followers all combined. After that point, readers seemed to just flock to our posts — much like a bunch of rubberneckers gawking at a flaming car wreck — and now our total number of followers is 13,500 and climbing!

Our readers are awesome people and I love to hear from them. My goal for ‘Oh God, My Wife Is German.‘ is to make our readers laugh. Plain and simple. That’s why I always post on Monday mornings, when people need to laugh the most. But the one person I truly want to make laugh is my beautiful German wife. She’s the funniest, most wonderful person I know, and really, this blog is just one long love letter to her (written with a near-lethal dose of sarcasm).

Thank you for reading.

Oh God, My Wife Is German.

 

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198 responses to “About

  1. I love the way you are writing and you made me laugh a lot today! But tell me, who’s on the picture above? :)

    Like

  2. Oh man, so is my little brother, married to a German voman. He is the one with a phD from Oxford and is a professor overseas in Europe. She is a beautician and brilliant but I tell you what, she is constantly telling my bro how much smarter she is and ha! I just sit back and laugh. We call her little H — for you know who…
    This is funny.

    Like

  3. Hilarious. Really the most fun in a couple days. mahalo, Dohn

    Like

  4. After seeing you “liked” my post (thank you very much by the way) I had to call my best friend, Colleen, to ask if her father read my blog. When I saw your title, I just assumed it had to be my best friend’s father, who at some point in his marriage had to exclaim at least once, Oh God, My Wife Is German. When Colleen and I were young we sat around and made her mom say things, like “pony” with her accent. Being a very sweet lady, she indulged us. When we were going out on dates she told us how to flirt in German. Ah, you brought back some memories! Jeeze, my best friend’s mom is German! Hugs to you and your wife.

    Like

  5. I’ll check out your online store. I just got curious! :D

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  6. Interesting blog. Thank you for the like.

    Like

  7. I just stumbled upon this blog and the Denglish entries cracked me up. Made me think of my grandfather, who was from Austria (but sounded like he was from Transylvania) and routinely made us laugh with his vociferous pronouncements on just about everything. Thanks for making me laugh. Looking forward to reading more.

    Like

  8. Thank you for your kind indication of “Like” on my DH Club posts.

    You have given me an idea re the “German” angle – especially since you indicate that your wife has “unintentional” humorous characterisitcs – what do you think – do you want to give me any suggestions?

    Thanks again – Padiofarty

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  9. very funny ! Love your blog title of course. Good thing your wife has a sense of humor ;) Thanks for stopping by !

    Like

  10. Thanks so much for the “like” on my post, “The Secret Language of Babies.” Really appreciate it.

    Like

  11. Two masters and working on a PhD. That’s impressive.

    Re: the picture. I love that movie lol. “I’m sorry officer for the speeding violation, I’m so used to driving on the autobahn.”

    Like

  12. lol, love your about page. I am about to check out the other pages. I use to live in Portland too two years ago before I moved to Germany. I love that city so beautiful. In fact I love that there is hardly no winter there except two years ago when we were snowed in!

    Like

  13. Hey, thanks for the LIKE on the apple tart post (doesn’t that sound like I’m writing to someone German?). Very funny blog–and hands down the best blog title I’ve ever read! Ken

    Like

  14. Hi !
    Thanks for the like !!
    You have an excellent blog !! … I’m following you !
    Bye
    Mathias

    Like

  15. As a former German historian and someone who has lived in Germany numerous times, I absolutely love your blog. It never ceases to make me laugh and/or bring back culture memories. Keep the posts coming!

    Cheers,
    Jed

    Like

  16. You win the lifetime award for Best Blog Name Ever :) This is hilarious. I look forward to reading more.

    Like

  17. Your whole site is a riot! Love the gif galleries. A couple months ago, you left a comment on my FP blog post and I am just now getting around to visiting the blogs of my nice commenters. I will def stop by here again. Thank you.

    Like

  18. I have been nominated for the Tell Me About Yourself Award and I thought of you when putting together my list of favorite blogs. If you would like to play along the premise is to tell us seven things about yourself and then post 15 of your favorite blogs.

    I would like to nominate you as well for the Tell Me About Yourself Award.
    You’re funny stories are so fun and well written. I can still picture you falling out of that boat. Thank you for all the smiles, laughs and nose squirts!

    Like

  19. I think that humor makes love truely last. After all, who is gonna laugh at you when you pee your pants as a geriatric. Or strut through your bedroom doin a depends fashion show. You are!

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  20. I must admit, this is one of the most entertaining blogs I have ever visited…………….and I am not just saying that because my wife is GERMAN TOO!!! LOL

    A~N

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  21. Danke, das Du mir heute mit “ohgodmywifeisgerman” ein Lächeln zauberst. Viele Grüße aus Deutschland André

    Like

  22. Thanks for “liking” my “A Year in the North Cape” and for following my blog. I’m following yours as well and think it’s very entertaining. My husband is Norwegian and I’m American and our kids are dual citizens. Makes for an interesting life mixing the two cultures.

    Like

  23. Thanks for “liking” my post, “I Hate Cornnuts”. I have been checking out your blog and I am an instant fan. Look forward to much more!

    Like

  24. I have been accused of being Chinese when its convenient by my various friends. Thanks for the insight on other cultures, we are not really all that different. :O)

    Like

  25. Wouldn’t it be funnier if the URL were Oh Gott, My Wife Is German? xD or Meine Gott, or whatever.

    Great stuff!

    Like

  26. Thanks so much for stopping by and liking my post! Can’t wait to read more from your blog! Take care, keep in touch!

    Like

  27. Thanks for stopping by and following me. I found you a year ago and then lost you! (I’m not a smart man) Love your blog and will now follow so I don’t miss a moment of your adventures.

    Speaking of not being a smart man… BedStuy? Seriously? You stayed there? On purpose? Did your wife grow up in East Berlin in the 50’s and she was pining away for the good old days?

    Like

  28. Thanks for hitting the “like” button on cardboardmetravels today. I look forward to following your blog. Any chance you might like to host a Flat Ruthie? Your wife is a good sport.

    Like

  29. Hi there! Thanks for visiting and liking my post “Confessions of a Sunset Junkie.” … Enjoyed the first part of your New York story and looking forward to reading further. Your style makes me smile … :-) … Be well …

    Like

  30. I have two master’s degrees and I’m three courses and a dissertation away from my Ed.D. I think my boyfriend thinks I think or know I’m smarter than him and I take exception to that idea! But if it’s true, it hasn’t hurt our relationship!!!!

    Like

  31. Do you give merch discounts for people whose maiden names are German?

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  32. p.s: I nominated you for an award. :)

    Like

  33. I love your blog! It’s hilarious and you’re a great storyteller. I always look forward to it. I, too, am emotionally intelligent. That counts for a lot, right?

    Like

  34. Now i finally managed it, to take a look a your website. I met you and your gorgeous wife at Kaiser in Hannover Nordstadt at the 17th of November. Although i dont remeber much ( it was on my birthday, and i was a little bit drunk ,-) ), it was a real pleasure to meet you.

    Like

  35. Pingback: New Feature: Post of the Week | The Bumble Files

  36. ditchingmycomfortzone

    Thanks so much for stopping by and liking my post! As I have married into a family of German’s I love your blog! And love that you and your wife are blooging together! Thanks again!

    Like

  37. Could I please connect you to my husband?! He is Canadian and I am German ;) jenny

    Like

  38. Hello! I’ve nominated you for the Inspirational Blog Award, as I greatly enjoy reading your blogs and writing style!

    http://nordensusan.wordpress.com/2013/03/18/inspiring-blogger-award/

    Please accept this.
    And remember the rules
    Well done !

    Susan

    Like

  39. I nominated you for the Epically Awesome Award of Epic Awesomeness. Come read about my adventures accepting it: http://greenwalledtower.wordpress.com/2013/03/27/a-w-a-r-d-s/

    Like

  40. Hey! Thanks for dropping by and liking my post. I’m already starting to like your blog.

    Like

  41. annemarie1124

    I love this blog! Your posts literally make me laugh out loudly! Oh, and my boyfriend says “hi”. He’s British and I am German – he can probably relate to pretty much everything you post.
    As for the Denglish: I would like the word “bacony” to become an official part of the English language. There just isn’t any suitable translation for “speckig” ;)

    Like

  42. thank you for stopping by and liking my post “holocaust remembrance day.” i really appreciate it. taking a quick peek what what you have here, im looking forward to following your blog – creative and very funny. it’s been hard not to laugh out loud at work – good thing the boss is out of the office today haha. love the writing style and humor.

    Like

  43. Thank you so much for liking my blog, because I wonder if I would have found you otherwise, and that would be a real shame.
    You and your wife are tremendously funny and obviously two peas in a pod!
    There’s something to be said for loving one’s spouse – and quite a lot more to be said for sharing a vibrant, quirky, slightly nutty sense of humor AND loving him/her!
    Great work!

    Like

  44. What hilarious banter! Thanks for your visit and LIKE. I hope you’ll come by often!

    Like

  45. Thanks so much for visiting my blog and liking my photo! I appreciate it very much. I’ve enjoyed my visit here and I look forward to following your posts! :-D

    Like

  46. Thanks for visiting. Yes, I will follow, you made me laugh. I lived in Germany as a child and I have an American son-in-law and he and my daughter live (at the moment) in Chicago.

    Like

  47. Love what I have seen so far, I’m going to troll your blog :) We live in Bavaria. 15 minutes down the autobahn from Rothenburg Ob Der Tauber. Met many expats married to germans, always interesting.

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  48. Thank you for stopping by simplydaisies! Come back anytime.

    Like

  49. I’m really enjoying your blog! Bonus points to you for being from Portland. A lot of your Denglish moments and experiences in Germany remind me of when I lived in Switzerland. (I know Germany and Switzerland are different, don’t worry. But I lived in the German speaking part which I believe is technically the closest you can get to Germany without being Germany.) PS Have you had the dear pleasure of hearing/speaking Schweizerdeutsch yet?? Make sure you get to Switzerland at some point and attempt speaking German there!

    Like

    • Hello! Thank you for the comment!

      My wife talks about Schweizerdeutsch and how different the accent is. She says it sounds, “like an oompa loompa band.” :)

      I will definitely visit Switzerland. No doubt about it.

      Thank you for stopping by and keep up the great work on your blog!

      Like

  50. Your blog seems to prove my premise: Bavaria is geographically located within Germany’s borders, but the similarities end there. Great Blog!!!

    Like

  51. Thank you for visiting dentaleggs. I love the title of your site.

    Like

  52. ich woehnte auf der Schweiz wen ich Teenager waere, so ich bin Berliner!! Warte…nicht richtig…warte…:) Haha I am an instant fan!! :)

    Like

  53. Thanks for your visit! I used to live in Braunschweig, so not far from you in Hannover. I very much understand that whole ex-pat gig and have to agree about the emotional intelligence! :)

    Like

  54. I’m pleased that you enjoyed my post on “Swords, Specters, & Stuff.” You’re welcome back anytime!

    Like

  55. Hey, I just nominated you for the Liebster Award! Please check out my post for the details:http://ricorambles.wordpress.com/

    Like

  56. Thank you for stopping by my blog! :)

    Like

  57. Hey thanks for the visit and like on my blog, you have a great blog here.

    Like

  58. THANKS for visiting my funny-caption photoblog, TheDailyGraff.com, and leaving the “likes.”
    –John R.

    Like

  59. Hi! I don’t know if you received this before or not, but wanted to let you know I have nominated you for The Versatile Blogger award! You can check it out here: http://fromcasinostocastles.wordpress.com/2013/04/25/versatile-vegas-frau/
    Congratulations!

    Like

  60. Thanks for stopping by and liking my pictures :)

    Like

  61. Hey!!!! I know you’ve received this probably 800 times by now…but you’re on my nomination list regardless for the Versatile Blogger Award! :-) Cheers!!

    http://thediaryofsugarandspice.wordpress.com/2013/04/29/let-me-take-my-bow/

    Like

  62. I nominated you for the Versatile Blogger Award! I love your posts!

    Here are the rules: http://versatilebloggeraward.wordpress.com/vba-rules/

    Like

  63. Pingback: The Versatile Blogger Award | tolerantpeople

  64. As said above, you might have been nominated tons of times before by now, but as i really like the blog and your artwork ive nominated you for the shine on award.. see whether you´ll do something with it or not, this is my small token of appreciation for all the smiles you bring on my face. As a dutchmen living 5km away from germany i can understand your love/hate relationship with germans :)

    https://pnco.wordpress.com/2013/05/06/shine-on-award/

    Cheers
    Pieter

    Like

  65. Poor boy – sentenced with a german wife…. A quick overview tell’s me your blog is a funny place -Vorsicht I FOLLOW ;-)

    Like

  66. Hello..!! Omg..I love your blog..!! Your stories are amazing; as well as the artwork/photos you choose for your posts. Therefore, I award you with The Very Inspiring Blogger Award which is a fun way of building community.

    http://howdoyousaytacoinspanish.wordpress.com/2013/05/13/unexpected-surprises/#more-634

    Like

  67. I would like to say thank you for writing this blog. I am about to marry a German myself and actually participate in a German wedding. Since I am the Braut, I am also in the planning committee. Your entries describe what I think quite often when it comes to certain German traditions. Thanks for saying the sarcastic offbeats of the German culture for me =).

    Like

  68. My daughter has a bachelor degree in music from, of all places, a college in Texas. She quickly moved to Germany to study music from where the only true music came from. She has since added two master’s degrees from school in Germany (one of them is in German because she had to take so much remedial Geman why not). She lives in Hong Kong only because her boyfriend (PhD in theoritical, computational, physics, think Einstein) works for a Swiss bank there. From all I have gathered about why Germany is so much better your blog is right on. Glad to have found it. And yes, her boyfriend can talk about the God particle on a first name basis but that doesn’t explain why German words are 200 leters long.

    Like

  69. Hi, I’ve nominated you for the Lovely Blog Award! Congratulations! See here for more information – http://dutchtimesinriga.wordpress.com/2013/05/20/first-time-for-everthing/

    Like

  70. I get the impression you have quite a zest for life, taking it with a grain of humor. I sent this one on to my Fb page.
    Thank you for liking my “Hillbilly Striptease”. Being a hillbilly myself I enjoyed it. I hope you will continue to follow my blog. As I’ve been told by one reviewer–”You never know what you’ll find on it.”

    Like

  71. Dear Oh God, My Wife Is German,
    I enjoy your blog,and I am going to subscribe. Have an excellent day!
    Sincerely,
    Zarion Kreena/Zachary Krishef

    Like

  72. Fantastic. Just your headline made me laugh!

    Like

  73. I’m excited to have found your blog! (Thank you, Freshly Pressed). I’m an American who lived in Duesseldorf from 2000-2005. Your humor and experiences will certainly resonate with me. Looking forward to more fun!

    Like

  74. I am not going to tell you that I ALSO nominated you for the Versatile Blogger Award ;-) Hope all is well! (http://germericandenglish.com/2013/05/30/they-really-like-me-part-iii-the-versatile-blogger-award/)

    Like

  75. abhishekmayekar

    Thank you for coming by and liking my post! I have been going through your blog and its really entertaining.. I love the way you write.. it just cracks me up! Keep up the excellent work! :)

    Like

  76. Congratulations! You’ve been nominated as a VERY INSPIRING BLOGGER by Jadi at jadicampbell.wordpress.com. Go to her most recent post to see your nomination and learn about the award. THANK YOU for sharing your experiences and ideas with the blogosphere!

    Like

  77. My German husband will get a kick out of this. We were 3 years in Hamburg with him often in Hangover:-) See… i can’t even speak proper English. Now we are back in the states and his grammar is influencing mine instead of the other way around! He’s a jazz musician with an awesome sense of humor and a huge heart and we make sure to always wear socks and never be near a draft lest we catch a cold! Tschüß. wendy

    Like

  78. Hello, I have nominated you for the “Shine On Award”. I really enjoy following your blog, keep up the wonderful work! Rose

    Like

  79. Hi favorite expat! I just want you to know that I bragged about finding your blog over at my third world kitchen and I may have cooked something up for you. I know you don’t exactly need the small recognition but I sure hope you can spare, say 5 minutes of your time to check it out :)

    http://thevanillahousewife.wordpress.com/2013/07/04/salamat/

    Like

  80. Just stumbled across your blog today and been reading through a couple of posts. Really funny stuff, love it :)

    Like

  81. Curiously enough I am now understanding the ways of the chilenos (from Chile) thanks to your blog.Their is a long history of german migration here and it has turned this country into the least Latin American of them all.

    Like

  82. Hi :

    This is to let you know I’ve listed you for the Liebster Award:

    http://beyondprague.wordpress.com/2013/07/13/beyond-prague-gets-another-award/

    Keep up the great blogging! I really enjoy checking in here.

    Kevan

    Like

  83. My first visit here, but being British I love the quirky humour and discussion of interesting and flavoursome beer! “I’ll be back!”, as a man with a German-sounding accent once said. ;-)

    Like

  84. Hi! I think your blog is amazing, so I’ve nominated you for the Versatile Blogger Award :)
    You can check out the details at my post: http://funnyfornothingblog.wordpress.com/2013/07/29/the-versatile-blogger-award/

    Like

  85. Pingback: Author of “Oh God, My Wife Is German” Expatriates to Germany | Oh God, My Wife Is German.

  86. I just love your blog, there’s nothing more I can say. Just found it kind of accidently and.. can’t stop reading :D

    sincerely
    a German reader :D

    Like

  87. I like the sarcastic flair with which you express your experiences and I did really enjoyed going through them. Have a wonderful time in Germany!!

    Like

  88. Hey, I’ve awarded you the “Sunshine Award”!

    http://carsonchronicles.wordpress.com/2013/12/22/sunshine-award/

    Congratulations!
    Warm regards,
    Katja

    Like

  89. I love your blog! Just nominated you for ” A Very Inspirational Blogger” Award- check out the link: http://30yearoldknowitall.com/2014/01/04/the-very-inspiring-blogger-award/

    Like

  90. Pingback: A New Home, A Strong Voice: One Writer’s Adventures in Expat Blogging | Tipsy Lit

  91. Hey, a very funny blog… I love reading it. I find so many familiar things in there. I will recommend it to my boyfriend.. I am sure he will enjoy it.. having a German girlfriend he probably could tell a couple of stories, too ;)

    Like

    • Hell yes! Please let us know how that conversation goes! :) Have a great weekend!

      Like

      • I’ll let you know what he says:) Btw. I hope you like Hannover.. I live in Hannover, too, so reading about the apartment hunt was kind of familiar ;) You too have a great weekend!

        Like

      • Thank you Monisbaking! Hope your weekend rocked as well!

        Like

      • The title alone made him smile ;) I can relate to so many things here.. For example, I will never understand what’s wrong with Kinder surprise eggs? Either I died when I was a child and am now living in some kind of weird heaven WITH Kinder eggs or I survived hundreds of them. We Germans are heroes :) Also, my Denglish will never leave me, no matter how hard I try.. I will always give a gender to everything.. my car, my computer..they are all male for me and my lamp female. I’m sure you know what I am talking about :D Anyway.. these are just two things I find familiar. Have a great weekend.. looking outside the window and seeing Hannover weather makes it sooo easy, right? ;)

        Like

      • The title alone made him smile :) I can relate to so many things here.. for example, I will never understand what’s wrong with Kinder surprise eggs. Either I died when I was a child and am now living in some kind of heaven WITH Kinder eggs or I survived hundreds of them. We Germans are heroes ;) Also, my Denglish will never leave me, no matter how hard I try. My things will always have a gender.. my car, my computer.. male. My lamp.. female. I’m sure you know what I am talking about. Anyway, these are just two things that I found familiar. Hope you have a great weekend. Looking outside the window Hannover weather makes it sooo easy, right? ;)

        Like

      • Haw! Great comment, Monisbaking. Yeah, the weather here in Hannover has been gorgeous. Do you think we’re getting an early spring?

        Like

      • It looks like it, right? But as a German I don’t want to be too optimistic..;) We might get snow around easter again.. on the bright side, snow gives a lot more possibilities to hide the eggs :)

        Like

      • Haw haw! I like the way you think, Monisbaking. :)

        I keep looking at the trees to see if they’re blooming. Still can’t decide.

        Thank you for reading and commenting!

        Like

      • somehow my comment box does not work the way I want and is eating my comments, then spitting them out when I decide to write it again.. you might have another doubled comment again ;) sorry about that.
        Anyway, so what I was trying to say (which disappeared) was that I don’t wanna be a pessimistic German, but I don’t want to get my hopes up. It seems like spring today, but might snow around easter again.. easier to hide eggs under the snow, which is the bright side :)

        Like

      • Totally got it, Monisbaking. No worries. I see duplicate comments all the time, but yours was fine and your point was clear. I even mentioned it to my wife, and we both stared out the window to see if the trees were blooming. (Couldn’t tell.) :)

        Talk to you later!

        Like

  92. Just found your blog – like it! As we have a similar audience related to Germany travel at Live Like a German we are wondering if you’d be interested in a guest article on our blog? Let me know. Thanks!

    Like

  93. Hey,

    Really like your blog. I’ve nominated you for the ‘versatile blog award’ have a look here: http://anovelspain.com/2014/06/23/most-versatile-blogs/

    Thanks.

    Barry

    Like

  94. Hello there fellow expat in Germany. I came across your blog when I found out you started following me on Twitter (thanks!) I’m going to take my time and read your blog slowly from the beginning I think. We most likely have a bit in commons since both of us have German wives. I’m kind of curious about the possible similarities and differences since we live in the southern part of Germany.

    Like

  95. Have been reading your blog for a while now, but decided I’d use your 2nd anniversary as an opportunity to actually comment.

    Used to be married to a German myself, and I’ve got the scars to prove it.

    Keep up the good work!

    Like

  96. David Carl Wolnisty

    Greetings from Nordfriesland. I’m from So. Cal. I’ve been in Germany since 2001 with my German wife. I brew beer as a hobby. I’ve been trying to share a little American culture here. (I haven’t been very successful) Last year I visited a school friend in Portland and fell in love with the city. It was hard to leave and fly back to my island. Anyway, if you find yourself in my neck of the woods, stop in and we’ll share a beer or two and a few tales of life in Germany.
    David

    Like

  97. David Carl Wolnisty

    I look forward to it.

    Like

  98. German girls are cute (I can tell), but somehow its difficult to live with them.
    Anyhow: Willkommen in Deutschland!

    Like

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