My German Wife Makes A Can of “Hot Pot” Soup and Leaves Me A Hilarious Note About It

Hot Pot Glass Noodle Soup German Canned

Within this can resides enough explosive power to detonate your colon like a pink sock full of gunpowder.

I guess Hot Pot soup originally comes from China, but they sell the hell out of it here in Germany. And let me tell you, it absolutely lives up to its name; it is hot, spicy, and, well… it fits perfectly inside the average cooking pot. But you know how my German wife and I like to pimp our pizzas on Sunday nights? Well, we also like to pimp our soups.

We add chili peppers, mushrooms, broccoli, onions, Brussels sprouts, hamsters, gerbils — just whatever the hell we have laying around the house — and throw them all together with a can of soup to make a flavor explosion violent enough to not only damage our mouths, but destroy them entirely. And the gastrointestinal effects? Oh, they confound they senses. Have you ever passed gas so fiery-hot it seared the very lining of your anus? Have you ever generated flatulence so potent it made you see stars? We have, and we do so every time we pimp a can of Hot Pot.

So the other day, my wife noticed the mushrooms in our refrigerator were about to go bad. She sliced them up — along with some random greens, an entire onion, and several handfuls of crushed red chili peppers — and tossed them into a boiling crucible of Hot Pot soup. I was off at my German language class, so she ate a bowl and left the rest for me, along with this fantastic little note:

hilarious note from wife to husband

To clarify, the note reads: “Hi sweets, I hope you had a good class. I made soup for us — hot pot and I think it’ll burn our little butt hole! Yours more than mine! :) I love you!”

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25 responses to “My German Wife Makes A Can of “Hot Pot” Soup and Leaves Me A Hilarious Note About It

  1. Do you ever eat that stuff when you have guests over and better yet, do you feed your guests with it? LOL I can only imagine the outcome. :) I love reading about your “adventures.” It’s so fun.

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  2. I suspect this might be relevant.

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  3. You are hilarious! I’m not trying that soup. No thanks! I hope you survived it okay. How’s your German classes going? Happy New Year to you!

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  4. My ass hurts just thinking about it.

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  5. I am LAUGHING OUT LOUD…the cats have run from the room and my partner thinks I am having affairs with an assortment of unsavory characters via the blogosphere. ‘No, no’, I protest. ‘It is this guy with a German wife, and then there is a gay guy in the north of England and this cat in the Netherlands and, and…’ Too late. I am alone in the room. Again. Time to light my anus on fire. Pass me a bowl.

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  6. Isn’t hot pot originally from Lancaster – they seemed to talk about it a lot on Coronation Street! Although I don’t think the Brit version is as firey as that sounds :-)

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  7. Do you really think a spicy food will sell well in Germany? Unless maybe the target audience happens to be those of us who like our foods a bit more scharf than Gerber’s baby food!

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  8. Perfectly hilarious and hot! Just found your blog today via Married to Italy, I like your style, off to discover more.

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  9. Okay – here you had me… I was sobbing of laughter right in front of my computer…
    This was quite hilarious!!!

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  10. This post made my mom and me laugh. :p Also, I never thought about pimping a pizza, but I may start soon.

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