Denglish 64: My German Wife (Somehow) Reinvents the Cause of Sexually Transmitted Diseases

a picture of sexy lips

“Tell me about it, stud.” — Image courtesy of piculous.com

As I’ve explained in a previous post, I have dry skin and full lips for a dude. Sometimes they’ll chap even though I am diligent about applying lotion after every shower and every time I brush my teeth. I even keep a tube of ChapStick on my person at all times. Sometimes the left half of my top lip will dry out, turn red and itch for a few hours for absolutely no reason whatsoever. During these moments, I find it hard not to mess with the dry skin — I’ll touch it, scratch it and look at it in the rear-view mirror of our car every 5 seconds while my wife and I are driving home from work. It was during one of these commutes back in December of 2011, as I was toying with yet another spontaneous dry patch, when my wife turned and admonished me…

THE WIFE: “What is on your lip? Stop playing with it. You get a herpes.”

Gentle reader, please take note: I do NOT have herpes.

Click here to learn more about the term “Denglish.”

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12 Responses to Denglish 64: My German Wife (Somehow) Reinvents the Cause of Sexually Transmitted Diseases

  1. And once you get one herpes, you’re liable to get any number of them. So it’s best to just not give yourself a herpes at all.

  2. LOL…is all I can say! :)

  3. wow. lol. well i guess it could be a common mistake, but your wife should know about your condition right? :)

  4. Maybe your wife was referring to Oral herpes that causes cold sores around the mouth? We call it simply Herpes.
    ~Anja~

  5. Thank you for checking out my blog, this was funny.

  6. David Eric Cummins

    LOL! You have a great blog here. Very funny!

  7. I know this is wicked late, but I’m reading your archives right now (and loving them!). Anyway, lip balm actually dries your lips out. Can’t remember now where exactly I read that, but it was on the internet, so it MUST be true, nicht wahr? You need to drink more water to stay hydrated, that’s my guess.

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