Denglish 59: Are All German Women Freakishly Strong?

Like many young, amorous couples, my wife and I engage in the occasional tickle fight. You know — a bit of the ol’ “Slap and Tickle” — though, as a German-American couple, we most often refer to these encounters as “World War III.”

Our tickle fights involve a lot of wrist grabs, leg locks and general vying for physical dominance. And, as a man, I naturally expect to triumph over my wife with laughable ease; I should have complete and effortless control over these struggles — using a clearly restrained amount of force to succeed — but this is not the case. I actually have to try to win, and I have to try hard — but not too hard, you see; I would never forgive myself if I accidentally injured my little Frau.

And this is why, during a particularly intense World War III on our couch back in February of 2012, I warned my wife not to struggle too hard. She relaxed, releasing her thighs from the vice-like grip they held around my abdomen, and offered a theatrical sigh:

THE WIFE: “You are right. I should not use all my strength. I don’t want to hurt you.”

Click here to learn more about the term “Denglish.”

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29 responses to “Denglish 59: Are All German Women Freakishly Strong?

  1. World war 3 bwwwwwahhjaaa. We have a German friend who we tease all the time about this. We are relentless. Thankfully, she’s a good sport….and yes, they are all freakishly strong…;)


  2. They are. The Victorian “delicate flower” idea never caught on. I think they basically punched dude ls that brought it up.


  3. Is your German wife freakishly clean too? Mine asks me, while dusting, to lift up the TV. Whick I do cause, as you know, she can kick my ass but am always left wondering … WHY THE HELL ARE WE CONCERNED ABOUT DUST UNDER THE TV? Or say freakishly organized, she one day cleaned out my toolbox while I was away … I was dumbfounded.


  4. I agree we german females have some strength in us. Maybe it’s because of all the good food we eat while growing up. Her mit der Bratwurst! Haha


  5. As I always say …. never ever mess with a German … it might backfire.
    You wonder where our strength come from … just think of the “Trümmerfrauen” then you why!



  6. I even read out the WWIII paragraph to my English husband, that’s how hilarious I found it!
    And I wouldn’t say I am freakishly strong. Just enough to do cave diving with about 50 pounds of gear on my back ;-)
    There is nothing more important than being organised though. How else could we be as efficient as we are?


  7. I think I missed out on the strength part of my German heritage. My (not-remotely-German) husband recently told me I have “spaghetti-arms.” (Jerk. Just cuz I can reach the stuff in the tops of the cupboards and he can’t. ;-) )

    I never thought I was freakishly clean or organised, either, until I married him, though. Rethinking that one now . . .


  8. HAHA!! WWIII is hysterical.. I literally laughed out loud at my desk..

    Sincerely, 2 Germans (or as my American friend called us, Dooshers, and NO, she didn’t do it on purpose)


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