Monthly Archives: December 2011

Denglish 44: The German Goes Nuts For Deez Nutz

Initially, The Wife and I conducted our relationship long-distance, which obviously meant we had no physical contact with one another. If you’ve ever known the heartwrenching torture that is a long-distance relationship, you also know a little something about longing. My wife would often articulate her feelings of longing thusly:

THE WIFE: “I can’t wait to hug you and hold you in my arms again! Also, I am horny as a crazy person.”

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Denglish 43: The German’s Got Sunshine On A Cloudy Day

As I’ve said before, my wife has a way of relating feelings like love and happiness in ways so adorable you could just kick a puppy. Kick it right out an open window. But she took things to another level last fall when, speaking to me over the phone from Germany, she described the weather outside her apartment:

THE WIFE: “It looks rainy as fuck… but it’s definitely sunny inside me, so who cares?”

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Denglish 42: The German Sizes Up Daniel Radcliffe

As my wife and I watched Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows – Part II, I made a comment about Daniel Radcliffe’s remarkably slight, 5’6″ build:

ME: “My God that Harry Potter is small.”

THE WIFE: “In German we say, ‘Er ist eine halbe Portion,’ which means, “He is a half portion.’ “

Click here to learn more about the term “Denglish.”

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