Monthly Archives: September 2011

Denglish 26: Taking A Trip to the Big Apple? Don’t Worry About the Little Things.

Anticipating our trip to New York back in 2010, I was worried something might go wrong to prevent us from fully enjoying our vacation. I shared with my wife how much it would suck if our bags were lost. What it our flights were cancelled? What if one of our family members got really sick?

THE WIFE: “I hope everybody stays alive until we get to New York.”

(Apparently, my wife would not have been terribly inconvenienced if, upon our arrival at JFK, our loved ones all marched gleefully into Death’s cold embrace.)

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Denglish 25: A German Wife Uses Google Chat Emoticons to Defeat Her American Husband

In Google Chat, you can type “<3″ and a little heart will jump to life in your chat window, conveying love and affection to your conversational partner. Of course, all your good intentions go right out the window when you’re typing with an über-competitive German woman:

ME: “I love you! <3 <3 <3!”

THE WIFE: “<3 x 100! What do you say now? :) “

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Denglish 24: What Do You Call A Flip Book (Stop Motion Animation) in German?

I once described flip books to my wife; an animation method using sequential pictures drawn on pads of paper. By flipping each page in rapid succession, you can create simple, 2D movies. She had this to say about it:

THE WIFE: “It is like Thumb Kino!”

(Apparently, “kino” means “cinema” in German.)

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Denglish 23: What Do You Call A Documentary in German?

I am a huge Netflix junky; I rent tons of regular movies, but I also love documentaries. Thus, when I mention a “movie” we’ve just received in the mail, The Wife can never be sure to which I am referring:

ME: “Honey, would you like to watch 127 Hours with me?

THE WIFE: “HELL yeah. Is it a movie or a dokumentation?”

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Denglish 22: American Chivalry Dies Just a Little More

My wife and I were buddies before we got together, and as buddies, we took a lot of pictures together. For some reason, she always liked to climb on top of fences or sit on dangerous ledges as we posed for said pictures, causing me to remark with caring, chivalrous words of caution just before the flash went off:

ME: “Be careful climbing the fence; I don’t want to have to rescue you.”

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Denglish 21: Eggs, Cheese and Meat – High Standards for A Proper German Breakfast

My wife eats a lot of traditional German meals. For breakfast, she often arranges her plate with a semi-hard boiled egg beside a slice of dense, seedy bread, which is covered with some kind of fattening dairy spread or a horrifying layer of soft organ meat. Before we lived together, I tried to emulate this meal in order to better understand her culture; I tossed a hunk of French bread on a paper plate with some sharp cheddar cheese and a slice of pepperoni, then sent her a picture of it:

ME: “Did you see my totally German breakfast?”

THE WIFE: “…I did. It’s a start.”

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Denglish 20: How to Write A Good Packing List, According to My German Wife

As a true German, my wife is a big fan of lists — especially packing lists. While packing for our trip to New York City in 2010, she texted me, in these exact words:

THE WIFE: “Do you think I should bring an extra blancet, for EXTREME cuddle time?”

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